A Haunting Past

It’s 1.17 am as I am writing this and I could not sleep. I have tried to but it seemed as if I was forcing myself really hard my eyes starting to hurt. And suddenly, I got the idea of writing this.

Well, it all started when I was skyping with my friend earlier in the evening. We skype a lot and he has been an eye and an ear to me. It’s just that every time we skype, he will have to hear my problems which I could say, are amounting. Well, that doesn’t sound good, does it? If I had to cry, tears will just roll on my cheeks and he will say “perlu ke latip nak nangis2. gedik.” LOL. Suffice to say, he knows exactly what to say even knowing that every bits of his words will make me feel sangat² sentap. Harus. =)

Rambut budak tu sangat lawa. Harus aku jealous, uolss. Haha.

And here, the story comes.

It was a conversation unlike any other. Kali ni sangat best, really, that I felt so relaxed afterwards. I put it this way, it was a heart-to-heart talk. Macam, sangat jujur kali ni. Kitorang borak pasal diri kitorang sendiri and everything was let loose.

Mulanya dia cerita pasal a very thing that he did earlier and he asked of my opinion on that matter. It was quite a nice thing he did, taking everything into consideration. I would say, if I were in his place, I will do the same. Just maybe, I don’t know, in a different way.

Bla bla bla bla and we chatted for like, forever. Haha. And in the midst of that, he got serious. Tetiba.

Him: Latip, kalau orang yang tau pasal masa silam kau bagitahu apa yang dia tau kat orang lain, apa reaksi kau?

Me: Kalau aku tau, aku akan kerat orang tu 20 kali then aku bom 5 kali.

Him: (and he laughed) Ok. Soalan kedua. Kau marah tak dekat orang yang tau tu?

Me: Tak. Tapi kalau aku tau dia bagitau orang lain, aku akan kerat 20 kali then bom 10 kali.

Him: (gelak sampai goyang perut) Hahahahaha. Ni, benda yang aku nak cakap ni ade kaitan dengan dua soalan tadi tu. Ok?

I abruptly stopped him there and asked him if he had done something wrong to me; which in this case pasal bagitau orang lain about my past. Sebab hanya dia dan beberapa orang lain aje yang tau.

Him: (gelak lagi) Haha. Takde. Aku takkan buat camtu punya. Aku tanya kau eh benda yang aku nak cakap tu?

Me: Haa, tanyalah. Insya-Allah, mana yang aku boleh jawab aku jawab la.

And he typed the first question.

Soalan satu

Dan dia gelak. Kurang ajar punya kawan.

At that instant, I felt a whooshing anger penetrated and took control over my body. It was a question I had never expected to be asked of, a question which has taken me aback. Soalan yang tak pernah aku fikirkan selama 6 tahun dan tiba², dayyum!

||| to be continued |||

xxLaNxx